Dear DawgAnn Danders,
It’s me. Beaumont. I’ve snuck onto my dad’s laptop while he’s taking a nap (with me on the bed of course.)
I’m writing today because I’m confused. My mom has gone off to see the grandlittles (apparently there’s a new little and she couldn’t stay away).
But here’s the deal. While it’s kinda nice without her here. I mean, like seriously. There are no rules with my dad. Like none! He lets me sleep on the bed all night and when he’s eating his toast in bed, he shares! The fact he eats his toast in bed is kind of novel too ’cause Louise doesn’t like crumbs in the bed. Dad says he’ll change the sheets before she gets home so she’ll never know.
And I still get to the park twice a day — and wow! Can my dad ever throw the ball. Like it flies forever and I run and run and catch it and bring it back and he throws it again and we have sooooo much fun.
But here’s why I’m so sad and confused. I kind of miss her. I mean she does give great tummy rubs and she does call me all sorts of nice things like, “Her best Beau” and “Best dawg ever.”
But… and dawggone it, its a big BUT!
She asked him to have me shaved down while she’s away.
I mean, not just shaved. Shame shaved! Like practically to the bone!
Apparently, according to Louise, I was getting kind of stinky, what with all the swimming I do and my beautiful long curly locks collecting all the river water. But I LOVE to swim.
Do you think she’s getting even with me for sleeping on the bed day and night while she’s gone? (My dad doesn’t even insist I sleep on the blue blanket she likes to put down for me. He lets me sleep right on the duvet!) I know. He really knows how to treat a dawg like a Top Dawg!
But anyway. He tells me it will grow back and that I still look handsome.
But Dawggone it DawgAnn Danders, what do you think? Is my profile still as strong and dawgly?
I mean… I don’t want to tell her or anything but I do like how free and light I feel and I definitely do smell sweeter.
Sigh. Maybe it’s not such a cryin’ shame afterall.
Maybe she really does love me.
But, sigh, she’s been gone so long!
And here’s my real dawgemma. My dad just told me he’s going out there on Wednesday. Just for a few days and my best bro TC is comin’ to stay with me with the wonderful Laura and like that makes me all happy and stuff but… sigh… she’s been gone so long!
So tell me DawgAnn Danders, do I or don’t I give her the cold shoulder when she gets back? I’m in such a confused state of dawgone mindfulness I don’t know what to do! Please help.
Yours in dawggone cold shoulder confusion,
Beaumont the Sheepadoodle.