Beaumont: So Louise… what do you have to say for yourself?
Me: About what?
Beau: Don’t play innocent with me Louise. I know you know what I’m talkin’ about.
Me: I know I don’t.
Beau: Ha! Yes you do.
Me: Okay Beau. Tell me what I know that I don’t know I know but you know I know…
Beau: Don’t try avoiding the subject with your convoluted, ‘I’m so innocent I don’t know what I did wrong’ sarcasm Louise. Think. What did you commit to stop doing?
Me: Oh. That.
Beau: Yes Louise. That.
Me: I didn’t actually call you an idiot Beau. I said you were acting like one…
Beau: (making a buzzer buzzing sound á la Jeopardy) Nyyyyaaaahhhh!
Me: But it’s true.
Beau: What you said you said is true. Your intent was not so innocent.
Me: See! There’s truth in everything!
Beau: And not all things are true, Louise. The truth is, you made a commitment and you broke it. That’s a truth you cannot avoid.
Beau: Are you asking me if you’re sorry ’cause from where I sit…
Me: On the sofa I might add.
Beau: Irrelevant. What is relevant is that you should not be asking me if you’re sorry. You should be apologizing and recommiting.
Me: (sigh) Why did I ever teach you the apology process?
Beau: Because you have to use it a lot and need me to keep you honest.
Me: Oh. Right. Fine. I acknowledge I implied you were an idiot while talking to a woman at the park this morning. I apologize.
Me: And that’s true. I slipped up. I apologize.
Beau: Louise, getting all huffy and defensive doesn’t help this situation. I have been wounded deeply by your words. I need to hear you say the whole process. Remember… Acknowledge. Apologize. Recommit. Make amends.
Me: Dawggone it Beau. If you didn’t have such a good memory and weren’t so sensitive we’d be through this by now.
Beau: And if you didn’t keep trying to avoid owning your mistakes, we’d be through this already too. Now… back to the process.
Me: (sighing) I acknowledge I wounded you this morning by implying you were an idiot. I apologize. I recommit to not talking about you disparagingly.
Beau: And… how do you plan on making amends?
Me: Want a treat?
Beau: Given the seriousness of your transgression, I think a T-bone steak dinner is more in order.
Me: C.C. doesn’t even get a T-bone steak dinner when I have to make amends with him Beau!
Beau: You don’t call him names.
Beau: Big mistake. Big amends.
Me: How about a bone from a T-bone steak? Then you and C.C. both win!
Beau: It’s a start… And btw. C.C. has never called me an idiot.
Me: What can I say? I have more growing to do than him.
Beau: Now there’s a truth!
And so it goes. Beau gives me lessons in accountability, dawggone-it! And I wonder why I ever taught him the apology process in the first place.
Beau: ‘Cause you mess up a lot Louise and need me to help you grow through your mistakes.
Me: Right. How silly of me to forget.
Beau: It’s okay. When you do I’ll always be here to remind you.
Ain’t that the truth!