So… what do you have to say for yourself?

Beaumont: So Louise… what do you have to say for yourself?

Me: About what?

Beau: Don’t play innocent with me Louise. I know you know what I’m talkin’ about.

Me: I know I don’t.

Beau: Ha! Yes you do.

Me: Okay Beau. Tell me what I know that I don’t know I know but you know I know…

Beau: Don’t try avoiding the subject with your convoluted, ‘I’m so innocent I don’t know what I did wrong’ sarcasm Louise. Think. What did you commit to stop doing?

Me: Oh. That.

Beau: Yes Louise. That.

Me: I didn’t actually call you an idiot Beau. I said you were acting like one…

Beau: (making a buzzer buzzing sound á la Jeopardy) Nyyyyaaaahhhh!

Me: But it’s true.

Beau: What you said you said is true. Your intent was not so innocent.

Me: See! There’s truth in everything!

Beau: And not all things are true, Louise. The truth is, you made a commitment and you broke it. That’s a truth you cannot avoid.

Me: Sorry?

Beau: Are you asking me if you’re sorry ’cause from where I sit…

Me: On the sofa I might add.

Beau: Irrelevant. What is relevant is that you should not be asking me if you’re sorry. You should be apologizing and recommiting.

Me: (sigh) Why did I ever teach you the apology process?

Beau: Because you have to use it a lot and need me to keep you honest.

Me: Oh. Right. Fine. I acknowledge I implied you were an idiot while talking to a woman at the park this morning. I apologize.

Beau: And…

Me: And that’s true. I slipped up. I apologize.

Beau: Louise, getting all huffy and defensive doesn’t help this situation. I have been wounded deeply by your words. I need to hear you say the whole process. Remember… Acknowledge. Apologize. Recommit. Make amends.

Me: Dawggone it Beau. If you didn’t have such a good memory and weren’t so sensitive we’d be through this by now.

Beau: And if you didn’t keep trying to avoid owning your mistakes, we’d be through this already too. Now… back to the process.

Me: (sighing) I acknowledge I wounded you this morning by implying you were an idiot. I apologize. I recommit to not talking about you disparagingly.

Beau: And… how do you plan on making amends?

Me: Want a treat?

Beau: Given the seriousness of your transgression, I think a T-bone steak dinner is more in order.

Me: C.C. doesn’t even get a T-bone steak dinner when I have to make amends with him Beau!

Beau: You don’t call him names.

Me: True.

Beau: Big mistake. Big amends.

Me: How about a bone from a T-bone steak? Then you and C.C. both win!

Beau: It’s a start… And btw. C.C. has never called me an idiot.

Me: What can I say? I have more growing to do than him.

Beau: Now there’s a truth!

And so it goes. Beau gives me lessons in accountability, dawggone-it! And I wonder why I ever taught him the apology process in the first place.

Beau: ‘Cause you mess up a lot Louise and need me to help you grow through your mistakes.

Me: Right. How silly of me to forget.

Beau: It’s okay. When you do I’ll always be here to remind you.

Ain’t that the truth!