Beaumont: Really Louise? You give me a moose cookie when there’s a perfectly good bowl of stew sitting right in front of me?
Me: I brought it back just for you from Mt. Engadine Lodge Beau!
Beau: So what? if you hadn’t gone away you wouldn’t have had to bring me something back.
Me: Oh. Well… True… But it was a great challenge…. cooking for 30 people and all…
Beau: Look. If you’re looking for a challenge I can easily give you one. Like… how about I refuse to eat dog treats and only insist on hooman food from now on?
Me: How’s that a challenge Beau?
Beau: It’s always a challenge for you Louise when you have to dissuade me from doing something I want to do. Remember… you’re not particularly well-disciplined in the art of discipline.
Me: (sighing) True. But cooking at Engadine for four days didn’t require discipline Beau. It was a physical and mental challenge.
Beau: Then let me make it harder for you. I’ll lay here on the sofa and you can hand feed me all my meals including this moose treat.
Me: You’re not even supposed to be on the sofa Beau!
Beau: And what did I say about your lack of discipline?
Beau: So…. whatd’ya say? Hand feed me the stew?
Me: That would be a tad messy Beau.
Beau: Oh good. So now that we have agreement I get the stew, I’m willing to dispense with you hand feeding me and will settle for it in my bowl.
Me: Beau! I didn’t say you could have the stew!
Beau: Ahhh…. but Louise, you didn’t say I couldn’t. You only said it would be messy feeding it to me by hand. Ipso Facto. Having the stew is okay. Just not by hand.
Me: What?????!!!! You’re twisting my words.
Beau: No Louise. I’m simply using every opportunity you present to get my way. It’s called rule of the jungle, or as we more erudite dawgs like to say, legis de saltu.
Me: What on earth does that mean?
Beau: It means… you should have paid attention in Latin class all those years ago Louise.
Me: What on earth does Latin have to do with your Moose cookie, or hand fed stew for that matter?
Beau: It doesn’t. But it sure was fun watching you race down that rabbit hole Louise. You know, if you had a little more intellectual discipline you wouldn’t be so easy to side-track…
Me: And if you were a little less uppity I might actually hand feed you some stew.
Beau: We both know that’s not gonna happen Louise.
Me: Which part? The you being less uppity or the hand feeding you stew part?
Beau: Both. But… I will let you put some in my bowl. Quickly now. It’s getting cold.
Me: But what about your moose cookie?
Beau: I always have room for dessert Louise. (smiling oh so sweetly…)
And so it goes. Beau gets his way and I get…. to learn how to be more disciplined…. Okay. That’s not happening anytime soon.
I’m back from my cooking extravaganza at Mt. Engadine Lodge. It was a great adventure – but wow! cooking breakfast and dinner for 29 people for four days (plus the 3 I did the week before) is a lot of work! Glad I had Beau and C.C. to come home to — even though Beau did try to give me a cold shoulder! But, dare I say it… he really did like the moose cookie! It’s what the lodge gives all the dogs who come to stay.
Beau: You mean there were dogs there!
Me: Oh dear. Now I’m in trouble….