He Ain’t Heavy

Me: Beaumont. You’re doing it again.

Beau: What’s that?

Me You know what that is.

Beau: Louise. If I knew what that is I wouldn’t ask what that is.

Me: (sigh) Lying on top of me.

Beau: Oh that.

Me: Yes. Beau. That. And see, you did know what it was.

Beau: Well actually Louise. I didn’t know what that was until you told me what that was which is when I got to say, “Oh that.” because that’s when I knew what that is.

Me: (sighing some more) Please. Can we just have a straight forward conversation without all the thating and whating what is?

Beau: Hey! You started it!

Me: No I…. stopping as I realize what he’s doing) Anyway. Now that we’ve stopped the nonsense, can you please get off me so I can get out of bed.

Beau: I’m comfortable.

Me: I’m not.

Beau: Then move.

Me: That’s my point. I can’t. You’re on top of me.

Beau: You’re always talking about how important it is to be creative Louise. Why don’t you just slide out from under me?

Me: Because you’re heavy.

Beau: Heaviness didn’t seem to bother the Hollies and their brother. Why does it bother you?

Me: (sighing big time) Maybe because the brother wasn’t lying on top of them?

Beau: I think he was ’cause they sang “No burden is he to bear.” Why you treating me like a burden?

Me: (sighing big time again) I’m not.

Beau: Didn’t you just say I’m heavy?

Me: (sighing. sighing. sighing.) Can we just move on to where you get off of me and we go to the park?

Beau: The park? That’s why you want me to move? Why didn’t you just say so.

Me: I just did.

Beau: Took you long enough.

And so it goes. Beau gets off of me. I get up and he dawg’s my every footstep until we go out the door to the park.

Beau: You know Louise, I was a little worrid you might be thinkin’ you’re gettin’ too old for these romps in the park.

Me: Of course not Beau. I love going to the park with you.

Beau: Yeah. and I love going with you. But just so you know. even if the road is long with many a winding turn, you ain’t heavy. You’re my hooman….

Sigh… he really does always have to get in the last word.

Beau: Song Louise. Song.

Sigh…