Beaumont: You know Louise, you have been letting all my fans down with your inconsistent posting of my brilliance here on my blog.
Me: (sighing) Yes Beau. I know. But I…/
Beau: (interrupting) Remember what you always tell me Louise… Keep your butt out of it!
Me: (Sighing. Again) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But…/
Me: Right. So, here’s the deal Beau. We’ve been writing this here blog since September 15, 2018! That means we’ve shared 176 posts full of your…. (pause while I think of the ‘right’ word) brilliance and I’m a teeny bit weary of having to translate dawgspeak into hoomanspeak every Sunday. Know what I mean?
Beau: No I don’t know what you mean Louise. I mean I have spent almost 8 years trying to translate yourspeak into myspeak and you don’t hear me say I’m weary of you now do you? So… how can you be weary of my fans?
Louise: Beau! I didn’t say I was weary of your fans. Stop putting words into my mouth!
Beau: You mean stop doing what you do? Putting words in my mouth?
Me: I don’t put words into your mouth, Beau. I translate your thoughts into words for your fans.
Beau: Right you are! That is what you do so I think you should keep doing it.
Me: Umm… Did you just turn my words around?
Beau: (smiling innocently) Who me? Of course not. I just agreed with what you said. “You translate my thoughts into words for my fans. My fans count on you. You can’t let them down.
Beau: Enough with the buts Louise. You made a commitment on September 15, 2018 and now you want to break it?
Me: No. I would like to renegotiate it though.
Beau: How so?
Me: Well…. how about we write here every second Sunday instead of every Sunday?
Beau: Hmmmm…… How about on the Sundays we don’t post, you share a photo of me so my fans don’t forget what I look like!
Me: Ok. I can commit to that.
Beau: Oh good. ‘Cause you also need to commit to sharing a quote with the photo — you know one of my brilliant dawg-insights on living life to the fullest?
Me: (sighing. How can I say no when he bats his eyelids so beguilingly?) Ok. Beau. Deal.
So. There you have it. Beau and I have negotiated a new standard for his blog. We do so hope you still come and visit and follow along and share your thoughts and just give him a whole bunch of DawgOn Lovin’ – ’cause I apparently don’t give him enough!
Beau: Dawg-insight No. 1 Louise —
When hoomans love on a dawg, they receive way more than they give ’cause DawgOn Lovin’ is dawgon’ good for what ails the hooman spirit.Beaumont the Sheepadoodle
Beau: (smiling sweetly) And you know Louise, if you give me a bit of DawgOn’ Lovin’ you won’t feel quite so weary.
Sigh. Why is he always right?