What’s Your Point?

Me: Beaumont, you know you’re heavy, right?

Beau: It’s all relative, Louise.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

Beau: Well, consider if I was an elephant lying on your stomach. I’d feel a lot heavier.

Me: And… Um…. I’m still missing the point.

Beau: Somethings never change now do they Louise?

Me: Beau. Be nice.

Beau: And I repeat. It’s all relative.

Me: Must we play the circle game so early in the morning?

Beau: Must you begin your day with complaining so early in the morning?

Me: I wasn’t complaining. I was just making a statement of fact.

Beau: Hmmm… I see you’re still missing the point, Louise.

Me: Well, if you’d tell me what it is, I wouldn’t miss it now, would I?

Beau: Some points, like lessons, need to be experienced to be understood.

Me: Grrrrr…. You know, you’ve got my mind whipping around in circles so fast I’m getting dizzy just staying in one spot!

Beau: And finally, she sees the point. Your mind can wake up and start moving so fast, it’s like there’s a ferris wheel in your mind that’s too busy to slow down and let people off. Round and round you go until you get so wound up, that ferris wheel of your mind whips into out-of-control!

Me: Whoa there Carl Dung. (and I pause to consider what I just said and begin laughing hysterically) Did you see what I just did there Beau? I turned Jung into ‘dung’ and made a joke about you piling a bunch of ding-ga-dung sh*t on top of me!

Beau: (sighing) And Isuppose ‘ding-ga-dung sh*t’ is also your way of making a joke?

Me: Yup. Pretty funny. Right?

Beau: (shaking his big furry head from side to side) Oh grasshopper. You have much to learn. Much to learn.

Me: Well, aren’t you impressed I’m learning to tell a joke?

Beau: Yes grasshopper, I am. but…. your joke would be much funnier if let ‘the joke’ stand on its own without you hoomansplaining it to death. Know what I mean?

Me: But Beau! What if I make a joke and nobody gets it? I have to make sure they do. I mean, it pops into mind so fast and I need to explain it’cause if I don’t and we carry on without them getting it then they don’t have a chance to laugh, let alone realize how funny I am and then, my joke loses it’s impact and well, a joke missed is a joke lost and we’ll have missed the moment to laugh together and…

Beau: And the ferris wheel winds up.

Me: It has nothing to do with a ferris wheel Beau. It’s a joke…

Beau: And I go back to my point, Louise. Slow Down.

Me: Slow down? I’m just getting started.

Beau: As the saying goes Louise. Life is a marathon, not a hurdle race.

Me: It’s sprint, Beau. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Beau: That may be what the saying is, but for you Louise, you keep putting up so many self-imposed obstacles to simply living in the moment, it becomes a hurdle race.

Me: Oh. (pause) Ohhhhhhh. You mean, stop explaining every moment and just live it.

Beau: Exactly. My point.

And once again, Oh wise guru Beaumont teaches me a life journey lesson to live now. HaHa — see what I did there? The sentence could have been, which it kind of called for but I chose not to include the ‘the’ as in, “Live in the now” to really emphasize ‘live now’ as opposed to…

Beau: Louise! Stop! There’s no point in hoomansplaining what was obvious in the first place. You lose the very point of your point.

Me: Oh.

Beau: Oh indeed.