The Dawg Who Does Not Sulk. X

Beau: Well. It’s good to see you’re doing the right thing by me, Louise. Finally.

Me: Of course I am. But Beau. You know, there was no need to add the ‘Finally’. That’s just snarky.

Beau: Says who?

Me: Says whom.

Beau: Huh?

Me: Like your use of the phrase, ‘says who’, “‘Huh?’ is poor grammar Beau.

Beau: Seriously? You wanna make this about the words I use, not the words?

Me: If you’re going to speak English Beau you should speak it correctly.

Beau: I’m a dawg Louise. I don’t speak English.

Me: Then what are you doing right now.

Beau: Trying to figure you out, but that seems like a losing battle.

Me: Beau! I’m just trying to be helpful here.

Beau: What would be helpful Louise would be for you to keep your commitments. And turning up here every Sunday is your commitment.

Me: Oh dear. So…. I suppose now is not a good time to tell you your dad and I are going out to see The Littles next week?

Beau: WHAAAAT?!!!!! You’re both going? Does that mean you’re taking me too! Huh? Huh?

Me: What did I say about ‘Huh?’

Beau: Louise. Louise. Louise. Right now I don’t care whether we’re talking English or Dawglish. All I want to know is, ARE YOU TAKING ME?

Me: Beau. It’s a reaaaalllly long drive. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Beau: You’re flying me out on my own? Like a UD?

Me: What’s a UD?

Beau: My goodness Louise. Who’s the English expert now? Unaccompanied Dawg. Like that’s what you’re doing? Right?

Me: Oh. Well… no. You’re going to go stay with your ‘girls’. Wilma and Martha.

Beau: Hmmm….. oh. oh. Will that she cat vixen Zoey be there.

Me: Yes Beau. The lovely and adorable Zoey will be there.

Beau: I’m not impressed. A. She a vixen. B. Regardlewss of who’s there, you’re leaving me behind. Again.

Me: I know we are Beau. But honest. It’s for your own good.

Beau Says who.

Me: Says whom.

Beau: Don’t try to deflect and change the conversation with your stupid rules Louise. There oughta be a rule about leaving me behind.

Me: There is Beau. It says, “It’s best to find Beau a warm and loving place to stay and not drag him along on a 12 hour drive.

Beau: And whom made that rule?

Me: It’s ‘who’ Beau. Who made that rule?

Beau: Fine. Who made that rule? They definitely didn’t consult me.

Me: As your hoomans Beau, we sometimes have to make rules you may not like. But we do because we love you and want to keep you safe and do what’s best for you.

Beau: What’s best for me is to not be left behind.

Me: I disagree.

Beau: Yeah? Well let’s see if you disagree with me sulking for the next week. See how you like that!

Me: You know you won’t sulk for a week Beau. It’s not who you are.

Beau: Is that a rule thing?

Me: No. It’s a You Thing.

Beau: Fine. Then if it’s my thing, there’s no question about it. I’m gonna change My Thing. I am no longer the dawg who does not sulk for a week.

Sigh. And before all you fans get on my case, C.C. and I both agree, we’re doing the right thing..

Beau: The right thing by ‘WHOM’ Louise?

Me: Don’t start Beau.

Beau: Who me? Is that whom you’re speaking to? (And he smiles devilishly, not to mention a tad smugly.