Keep Your Butt Out of It

Me: Beaumont. Can you please turn towards me.

Beau: No.

Me: Excuse me?

Beau: Why? Did you fart?

Me: Beau! What are we? In Kindergarten? (aside – my grandson and his friends love fart jokes!)

Beau: No Louise. We’re not. But you asked to be excused and I have no idea why.

Me: I wasn’t asking to be excused. I was asking you to explain your No.

Beau: No is a complete sentence Louise. No explanation needed.

Me: But I want one!

Beau: And I wanted a T-Bone steak and look what had to happen for me to get it!

Me: Do you have to bring that up again? You got your steak. Let it go.

Beau: Well. You got your answer. No. Why don’t you let it go?

Me: Because I want you to turn to the camera so I can get a better shot of you standing at the ridge.

Beau: And I want to keep appreciating the view. You might want to try it Louise. Instead of constantly dragging your phone out to capture the moment, why not be in the moment?

Me: But…. it’s for you! I want to have a good photo of you for your blog.

Beau: You mean my blog which you’re finally getting to when the day is almost done? Oh. And only after CeZar’s mom asked where it was?

Me: I was going to do it before she messaged me Beau.

Beau: Uh huh. Sure you were.

Me: But it’s true!

Beau: As you always say, Louise. Keep your BUTT out of it.

Me: Well…. I didn’t mean it literally Beau.

Beau: Then you should have thought of that before you said it, Louise. Now leave me be to stand at the edge of the ridge and look all sophisticated and regal. I am a dawg surveying nature’s beauty laid out in splended green glory. Do Not Disturb.

ISigh. And so it goes. Beau never turns towards the camera until I put my phone back in my pocket.

Though I must admit – but please don’t tell him I said this… he does look kind of regal standing there surveying the valley below!

Beau: Ha! And now you’re trying to keep secrets from me. Another thing you say that you don’t really want taken literally Louise? Don’t keep secrets from those you love?

Me: Yes but. I mean… No but…. Oh dear.

Beau: And I rest my case.

And he goes back to surveying the scene and I shake my head in confusion. How does he always win?