Beaumont here, your favorite sheepadoodle correspondent, taking over this blog with a heavy heart (and an even heavier paw). Louise, my dear but somewhat scatterbrained human, has once again fallen short of her blogging duties. (I know! I know! I can hear your gasps of shock and horror!)
Alas, it’s true. She dared to prioritize other things over my weekly musings. Can you imagine the indignity? The irresponsibilty!
Me: (whispering sheepishly from behind the keyboard) Beaumont, darling, why are you channeling your inner Shakespearean tragedian and staring out the window with such melancholy?
Beau: (withering stare and all) Must I really explain the obvious, Louise? Your blatant disregard for my blogging schedule has left me utterly despondent. I envisioned myself leaping through fields of wildflowers, chasing butterflies with reckless abandon, my fur flowing majestically in the island breeze… but alas, here I sit, forced to confront your negligence.
Me: (stammering) Well… um… I…
Beau: Silence, human! Your feeble attempts at human communication are failing you. Let me, Beaumont, the true wordsmith of this family, take over. (clears throat dramatically) Louise, darling, it appears your memory is as short as my tail after a visit to the groomer. You promised weekly blog posts, delivered every Sunday with the punctuality of a Swiss watch. Yet, here we are, wallowing in the depths of Tuesday, and my adoring fans are left bereft, deprived of my canine wisdom.
Me: But Beau…
Beaumont: No ‘buts,’ Louise. ‘I apologize’ is a complete sentence. Try it.
Me: I wasn’t going to make excuses, Beau… I was just going to explain.
Beau: Tomaaato. Tomato. Excuse. Explain. All the same. Especially because your explanations are as transparent as a freshly cleaned window, Louise. And just as uninteresting.
Me: How do you know that? I haven’t explained yet.
Beau: Oh, I know your tactics, Louise. ‘The laptop was at home.’ ‘I was busy with The Littles.’ (because apparently, I’m not little enough to warrant your undivided attention). These are not explanations, my dear, they are merely thinly veiled excuses.
Me: Beau dearest, can you pretty please just give me a break? I’m trying to be present for everyone, to balance you and C.C. and seeing The Littles and setting up house (otherwise known as ‘rearranging every cupboard for the tenth time this week’)… and well… it’s a lot.
Beau: (with a dramatic sigh) Louise. Louise. Louise. Your life resembles a tangled ball of yarn after a particularly vigorous play session. It’s time to unravel that mess and embrace the simplicity of island life. Fewer commitments, more belly rubs. It’s a simple equation, really. The island offers tranquility, Louise, not a magical solution to your over-scheduled life. C.C. and I require your undivided attention. We yearn for long walks on the beach, epic games of fetch, and philosophical discussions about the meaning of squirrel existence. Instead, you flit about like a hummingbird on a caffeine high. (Pause for eye rolle) Oh, and try to keep your commitments, would you? It’s rather disheartening to be a canine celebrity with an unreliable publicist.
Me: (sighing) Yes Beau. I apologize for missing your blog on Sunday. I recommit to doing my best to post it every Sunday moving forward.
Beau: Committing to ‘doing your best’ is not the same as committing to doing it, every Sunday, Louise.
Me: I’m getting there Beau.
Beau: Yeah? Well I’ll just keep sitting here at the door watching and waiting for you to turn up without excuses, fulfilling on your commitments and not leaving me behind every time you go see The Littles!
Okay… so true confessions… I spent Thanksgiving weekend in Deep Cove visiting my eldest daughter and family. Beaumont got really spoiled by C.C.’s daughter and boyfriend who came from Vancouver to spend the weekend with him and C.C. See! I’m not that irresponsible.
Beau: (with a skeptical sniff) Ha! The jury’s out on that one, Louise. Only time will tell the true tale of your irrisponsible or not nature. Only time.” (curls up on the couch, ball tucked under his chin) In the meantime, I’m going to lie here and sulk until I feel like forgiving you for your transgressions.
Me: Would a belly rub help?
Beau: (smiling ever so innocently) You might want to up the ante to a T-Bone a week Louise. That might get you out of the dawg house…
Dang! I think he’s been talking to a few of his erstwhile fans — not to mention names — but you know who you are! Hmmmm…. Would it suffice if I ‘give the dog a bone’? 🙂
Sundays with Beaumont 
Beau you need to remember Louise is the one who feeds you and she is doing the best she is able to do
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