Beau’s T-bone Continues

Hey Fans! I’ve been a busy bee lately, a really busy bee. I’m busy fending off interlopers and I don’t mean the squirrels and other rodents I am so accustomed to chasing out of the garden. I mean the human kind! Let me start at the beginning of this ordeal…

Beau: So… let me get this straight, Louise. You invite two interlopers—those annoying young pups, girls no less—into my lair, and then, after they’re gone, you invite a golden retriever? I mean, where’s the respect? The acknowledgment that this is my home too!

Me: Beau, the girls were only here for a few days, and Cooper just came for an evening on the deck. Surely you can’t be upset by that?

Beau: Upset?! Louise, the girls slept on my bed! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a good night’s sleep when I have to play a game of human Tetris between you and C.C.? At least he lies still, but Louise, you’re worse than a worm in a pile of shite! You’ve no idea what it means to ‘lie still,’ yet you keep insisting I do! The double standards in your world are making me dizzy.

Me: I put your bed on the floor for you.

Beau: Oh. So you and C.C. get to sleep in a nice, comfy, cozy nest, and I get “a bed on the floor”? Nope. Definitely no respect for my needs, not to mention my privacy and space.

Me: I thought you liked the girls. They sure like you!

Beau: I like T-bone steak more. So rather than time with the girls and random Goldens, why don’t you just give me my T-bone?

Me: I tried.

Beau: You mean that fake excuse for a toy that is supposed to look like a T-bone but looks more like a lump of coagulated blood on a marble stone?

Me: Ugh! Do you have to be so graphic, Beau? That’s a disgusting image!

Beau: And I think it’s disgusting that you a) keep bringing other hounds into my abode and b) HAVE NOT GIVEN ME MY JUST DESSERTS! A T-BONE STEAK!

Me: I am so over the T-bone conversation, Beau.

Beau: Hahahahahahaha! You may be, but my fans and I are not! So cough up, or as the saying goes, give the dog a bone.

Me: Well… if it’s just the bone you want, that’s easy. We’ll just BBQ a T-bone for dinner and leave you the bone.

Beau: Haha! Not funny. You know exactly what I mean and are just being cruel.

Me: I’m not being cruel, Beau. I just like to share. C.C. and I get the steak. You get the bone. That seems like a fair deal to me.

Beau: Since when has “fair” ever been part of your lexicon, Louise?

Me: Look who’s being cruel now, Beau!

Beau: Nope. Not cruel. Just observant. When it comes to T-bone distribution, your proclaimed love for me seems a little slanted more towards you getting your just desserts and me being left out in the cold. It’s time to balance the scale in my favour.

Me: It’s time to give it a rest, Beau.

Beau: After you give me my T-bone – meat and bone – I will.

And so, the saga of Beau’s T-bone lack continues. One day, his T-bone may come home… we’ll have to wait and see.