Beaumont: So let me get this straight. Since Covid isolation started you've gone through almost 25 kilos of flour. Me: Yup. Amazing isn't it. Beau: I think it's rather selfish. Me: Selfish? How so? Beau: What have you been baking Louise? Me: Ummm.... Bread. Cookies. Muffins. Foccacia. Pies. More cookies. More bread. Beau: Hmmm... I... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. You know you're lying on my legs again, like a bridge? Beau: Yah. What of it? Me: Is there a reason? Beau: Do I need a reason to get close to you? Me: You're answering a question with a question. Stop it. Beau: What else am I supposed to do? Your question was... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Hello? Earth to Louise. Can't you see the ball? Me: Of course I can. Beau: And... Me: And what? Beau: Don't be obtuse, Louise. You know the what. Me: You want me to throw the ball. Beau: See. You are present in this moment! Me: Of course I am. I'm just not going to throw... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beaumont: The question isn't what am I doing, it's, "What aren't you doing?" Me: I'll bite. What aren't I doing? Beau: Well, first off, using stupid phrases like, "I'll bite" with a dawg is something you shouldn't be doing. Me: Oh. Right. Sorry. Okay. Just tell me, because I... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: I demand an audience. Me: Excuse me? Beau: You heard me. I need to be heard. Now. Me: Well, aren't we just the demanding sort this morning. Beau: I already said that. Me: Ya. Ya. Whatever. What for? Beau: Seriously? You're going to use sloppy English in a time like this? Me: (sigh) What... Continue Reading →
Hey everybody! It's me. Beaumont. I know. I know. You're wondering where 'she' is. Well, all I can tell you is that she's been actin' kind of weird these days. Something about those pandas running wild and creating havoc around the globe, or at least something that sounds like panda but kinda rhymes with schizophrenic. ... Continue Reading →
Me: Beau. What are you doing? Beaumont: Watching you. Me: What on earth for? Beau: Because the earth needs me to do it. Me: Ummm.... I'm confused. Why does the earth need you to watch me? Beau: Because the earth needs its hoomans to stay calm and keeping humans calm is a dawg's most important... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So. Let me get this straight. You're staying close to home because there's a bunch of pandas running wild across the globe. Me: That's 'pandemic' Beau. Not pandas. Beau: Well, whatever they're called, you seem to be more interested in them than me. Me: How's that Beau? Beau: Well, you don't stay home for... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. You're lying on my legs. Beau: I know. Me: You're heavy. Beau: So is grief. Me: And what does that have to do with lying on my legs? Beau: I'm just trying to keep you from getting washed away. Me: Really? It just feels like you're trying to lie on top of me.... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise. You know Nana's going to be okay. Right? Me: How do you know? Beau: She's walking to her Rainbow Bridge. That's a cause for celebration. She's had a good life. Me: Yes Beau. It is. (pause) Ummm... How did you know? Beau: About Nana? Oh ye' of little faith. How could I not? I am... Continue Reading →
