Me: Beaumont. That’s not your ball.
Beau: It is now.
Me: But that’s a cheap tennis ball. What happened to your orange and blue rubber ball?
Beau: Hey! You threw. I fetched. You didn’t say I had to fetch the same ball you threw.
Me: It’s an implied expectation.
Beau: Expectations are pre-meditated disappointments Louise. I’m just fulfilling your expectation.
Me: Seriously Beau? I just bought that orange and blue rubber ball and it cost waaay more than that yucky green teenis ball you retrieved.
Beau: Perhaps you need to be more specific when you throw the ball Louise. Like… instead of throwing it in the completly opposite direction of where you think you’re throwing it and saying, Go get it BEau! How about, Go get the orange and blue ball, Beau which I threw no where near where I said it was going. Which is more specific?
Me: What has being specific got to do with it Beau? I throw the ball. You fetch it.
Beau: And that’s what I did.
Me: But it wasn’t the right ball.
Beau: And we’ve been through this already. You threw. I fetched.
Me: But what happened to the ball I threw?
Beau: Well Louise. That’s a mystery you’re going to have to figure out. But… until you figure out how to throw the ball in a straight line, it is probably one of life’s mysteries you’ll never solve.
Me: So now it’s my fault?
Beau: Answer this question Louise. Who threw the ball?
Me: I did. (Sighing)
Beau: Mystery solved. You threw it away.
And so it goes. Beau always gets the last word. And the wrong ball.
Good news is. We walked back towards where I threw the ball, versus meant to throw it, and there it was. BONUS! We came home with two balls!