Me:  Beaumont. We have to go for a walk. Beau:  Have you seen the weather out there? Me:  Doesn't matter. We still have to go. Beau:  I'm comfy. Me:  And I'm ready to go for a walk. Beau:  Have a nice time. Me. With you. Beau:  Do I look like I'm ready to go outside?... Continue Reading →

Me: Beaumont, you know I can see you there. Beaumont:  If you hadn't put in a glass stairwell you wouldn't. Me:  Quit stalling. I have to brush you. Beau:  Why? Me:  Because you'll get matted if I don't. Beau:  Then take me to my hairdressers. Cindy is much more gentle than you. Me:  You were just there three weeks ago. Beau:  So?... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:   Whaaaat? Me:  Beau, you know you're not supposed to beg for food. Beau:  I wasn't begging. Auntie Annie offered. Me:  And you know better than to accept. Beau:  Says who? Me:  (sigh)  Me? Beau:  Right. Anyone else? Me:  Beau. Be polite. Beau:  I am being polite. She's a guest. I'm just being polite in accepting what she offers. You want me... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Seriously?  How long do I have to lay here? Me:   Beau.  Tamara's just giving you a hug. Be nice. Beau:   I'd rather she gave me a treat. Me:  She just did. Beau:  Yeah. But she didn't say it came with a hug. Me:  I thought you liked hugs? Beau:  I do. But I like to protect my image more. Me:  And...... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Look. Seeing as you forgot my ball and ball chucker, why don't you just take one of those pretty red ones off the tree? Me:  They're Christmas decorations. Not balls. Beau:  So you say. They look perfectly round and throwable to me. Me:  They'd break the minute they touched the ground. Beau:  Prove it. Me:  I am not going to... Continue Reading →

Beau:  So.... is there a reason I am being lugged around like a toy poodle? Me:   Well, you are half poodle. Beau:  Standard poodle. There's a big difference between a toy and a standard you know. Me:   Well, you're as cute as a toy poodle. Beau:   Cute has nothing to do with my looks. I'm handsome. Debonair.... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Seriously. Just because you're in Mexico and haven't got a new photo of me, you're posting this ridiculous one? Me:  I don't want you to think we've forgotten about you. Beau:  You don't call. You don't text. you don't Facetime me? Me:  Hey!  We face timed you last week. You wouldn't look at us. Beau:  I... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  So... You know it's Monday today. Not Sunday. Me:  Yup. Beaumont:  So.... what happened  yesterday?  Just because you're in Mexico you think you can forget about me? Me:  No. Of course not. it's just we were travelling. Beaumont:  And that's your excuse. Harrumph. Sounds like humanwash to me. Me:  Well it's true. And btw.... Continue Reading →

  Me   Beaumont, you know we have a no kissing policy here at work? Beau:  Uh huh. Me:  Then. Ummm. Why are you kissing Svetlana? Beau:  Because she put her face right next to mine? Me:  Doesn't mean you have to kiss her. Beau:  Of course it does. I'm a dog. Me:    But you're ignoring our policy. Beau:  Hey. I'd like... Continue Reading →