Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beaumont: The question isn't what am I doing, it's, "What aren't you doing?" Me: I'll bite. What aren't I doing? Beau: Well, first off, using stupid phrases like, "I'll bite" with a dawg is something you shouldn't be doing. Me: Oh. Right. Sorry. Okay. Just tell me, because I... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: I demand an audience. Me: Excuse me? Beau: You heard me. I need to be heard. Now. Me: Well, aren't we just the demanding sort this morning. Beau: I already said that. Me: Ya. Ya. Whatever. What for? Beau: Seriously? You're going to use sloppy English in a time like this? Me: (sigh) What... Continue Reading →
Hey everybody! It's me. Beaumont. I know. I know. You're wondering where 'she' is. Well, all I can tell you is that she's been actin' kind of weird these days. Something about those pandas running wild and creating havoc around the globe, or at least something that sounds like panda but kinda rhymes with schizophrenic. ... Continue Reading →
Me: Beau. What are you doing? Beaumont: Watching you. Me: What on earth for? Beau: Because the earth needs me to do it. Me: Ummm.... I'm confused. Why does the earth need you to watch me? Beau: Because the earth needs its hoomans to stay calm and keeping humans calm is a dawg's most important... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So. Let me get this straight. You're staying close to home because there's a bunch of pandas running wild across the globe. Me: That's 'pandemic' Beau. Not pandas. Beau: Well, whatever they're called, you seem to be more interested in them than me. Me: How's that Beau? Beau: Well, you don't stay home for... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. You're lying on my legs. Beau: I know. Me: You're heavy. Beau: So is grief. Me: And what does that have to do with lying on my legs? Beau: I'm just trying to keep you from getting washed away. Me: Really? It just feels like you're trying to lie on top of me.... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise. You know Nana's going to be okay. Right? Me: How do you know? Beau: She's walking to her Rainbow Bridge. That's a cause for celebration. She's had a good life. Me: Yes Beau. It is. (pause) Ummm... How did you know? Beau: About Nana? Oh ye' of little faith. How could I not? I am... Continue Reading →
I know. I know. It's me. Again. Pawing my way through this blog 'cause yup. You guessed it. She's Gone. Again. Oh dawgy dawgy. She has once again flown the coup and this time, she took HIM with her leaving me with my sis and her man and.. wait for it... that she-hellion four-legged vixen... Continue Reading →
Hello? Anybody there? Ya. It’s me. Beaumont. On my own. She’s done it. Again. Taken off for parts unknown and left me behind. Sigh. What’s a dawg to do to get a little attention around here? Like I lay on top of her in an effort to keep her warm. I follow her all over... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Hey Lady. Know what time it is? Me: Morning? Beaumont: Breakfast time! Me: I can't get up. Beau: Why not? Me: You're lying on top of me. Beau: That's to wake you up. Me: All right already. I'm awake. Beau: Then, where's my breakfast? Me: If you get off of me I'll get it for... Continue Reading →
Sundays with Beaumont 