Holy Leapin’ Stawgs!

Me: Beaumont! Watch out! You'll getting me all wet! Beau: Duh! You're sitting by the river Louise. Right in my way. How can I not? Me: By being more careful? Beau: Holy leapin' stawgs, Louise. I'm a dawg. Careful is for risk-averse hoomans. Me: What an earth is a stawg, Beau? Beau: Just look at... Continue Reading →

The Obstreperous Octopus

Beaumont: Louise, why is Rod showing me your boot? Me: Just ignore him Beau, He's being obstreperous. Beau: Why is he being an octopus? Me: Obstreperous Beau. Holding it and inviting you to eat it is him being obstreperous. Beau: So he's being obstreperous holding an octopus? Looks like a boot to me. Me: Don't... Continue Reading →

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Me: Beaumont, stop sticking your tongue out. Beau: I'm not sticking it out. It's hangin' out. Me: Then stop hanging it out. Beau: When you stop bringing me the park at the top of the hill instead of the river when it's 33Celsius, I'll stop hangin' my tongue out. Me: I brought your water bottle.... Continue Reading →

One Of Life’s Mysteries

What d'ya mean you threw an orange and blue ball? Me: Beaumont. That's not your ball. Beau: It is now. Me: But that's a cheap tennis ball. What happened to your orange and blue rubber ball? Beau: Hey! You threw. I fetched. You didn't say I had to fetch the same ball you threw. Me:... Continue Reading →

Just Do It Already!

Me: Beau. It's not polite to stick your tongue out. Beaumont: Louise. It's not polite to invite a she-cat into my home without first consulting me. Me: You would have said no, Zoey couldn't come and stay for the long weekend. Beau: My point exactly. Me: Which is why the 'forgiveness is the best course... Continue Reading →

Beau and Waiting for Godot.

Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beau: Waiting for Uncle Jim. Me: It's noon Beau. Dinner's at 6. Beau: I'm a dawg. Time is inconsequential. Me: In that case, you're in for a long wait. Beau: Like Vladimir and Estragon, I wait. Me: Ummm.... Beau. They were characters in a play. You're here in real... Continue Reading →

Wolves. Apes and Baseball Pitchers.

Me: Beau. Why are you sticking your tongue out? Beau: What of it? Me: It's impolite. Beau: Says who? Me: Everyone? Beau: Ahhh.... The ubiquitous everyone. Me: Wow! That's a pretty big word for a dawg. Beau: And that's pretty condescending, even for you, Louise. Me: Oh Well... I just meant... Beau: (interrupting me) I... Continue Reading →

It Is What It Is

Me: Beau, you look very sad. Beaumont: Well, aren't you? Dad's in hospital. You throw a lousy ball. It's lookin' rather gloomy out there. Me: Yes... but he could be home today. Beau: You said that yesterday and the day before and... come to think of it, you've said that every day since New Year's... Continue Reading →

Merry Christmas and all that Dawggone Jazz!

From my dawggie heart to yours! Merry Christmas! From my dawggie heart to yours! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Merry whatever your celebration! Louise says that a picture speaks a thousand words -- but you know me! I always got somethin' more to add so this holiday season I'm adding a special thank you to all... Continue Reading →

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