Beaumont: Louise. It’s time.
Me: Uh. huh.
Beau: Don’t you uh huh me. It’s time to get movin’. The park awaits.
Me: What do you think I’m doing?
Beau: Well, up until now you’ve been baking a cake, making chocolate chip cookies, reorganizing the baking goods drawer and doing dishes.
Me: Uh huh.
Beau: And now, you’re typing.
Me: Yeah. Your blog, btw.
Beau: And you couldn’t do it before you baked the cake and all the other stuff you did this morning before sitting down to type?
Me: I was getting ready.
Beau: Getting ready for what?
Me: This conversation. (smiling sweetly)
Beau: Louise. I’m supposed to be the difficult one. You’re supposed to be the thoughtful, articulate, kind one.
Me: Maybe I want to try on your role for a while. You know, see if it works for me.
Beau: I can tell you right now. It doesn’t.
Me: How do you know? I’ve only just tried a couple of ‘uh huhs’ and a teeeny bit of sarcasm.
Beau: And how’s that working fer ya?
Me: Seems to be fine.
Beau: Trust me. It’s not.
Me: Okay then. What would you prefer?
Beau: I’d prefer you stick to your lane and let me take care of the humour, sarcasm and attitude. I do it much better than you.
Me: Well how am I to learn if I don’t first try?
Beau: HaHa! Don’t pull that one on me Louise. Remember, those rhetorical, seemingly innocent questions with a whole lot of attitude and double entendre are my gig.
Me: But can’t I try some attitude, just once?
Beau: In a word… No.
Me: But I might be really good at it.
Beau: Louise. There is only one star in this here blog and that’s me. You’re the Rosencrantz to my Guildenstern. Or if you prefer, you’re the Minor. I’m the Major. I feed you the lines. Whatever you say makes me look good. That’s the gig.
Me: Well whoever made that gig up wasn’t very funny.
Me: Yes Beau?
Beau: You made up the gig.
Beau: Yup. And so… as you’ve so expertly proved, funny is not your gig. Leave it to the experts. Ok?
Me: (Sighing) Yes. Beau.
Beau: Good girl. Now. Can we get to the park please?
Me: As soon as I’m finished typing.
Me: Yes Beau.
Beau: We’re done. Let’s go.
And so it continues. Do you think he’d think it’s funny if I said, “You are the star in this here show and I am just the darkness illuminating your light.”? haha! I don’t think so. But it was kind of funny don’t you think?
Beau: Louise. I read that. Not funny.
LOL. What was I thinking? 🙂