Who’s Bed Is it?

Me: Beau. You’re hogging the bed.

Beau: Actually, Louise. I’m dawging it.

Me: Very funny Beau. Whatever you want to call it, you’re not leaving any room for Martha.

Beau: Who’s Martha?

Me: Haha. So we’ve got attitude this morning do we?

Beau: I don’t know, Louise. I’m fine. Do you?

Me: No, Beau. I don’t but I think you do.

Beau: Then why did you say, ‘we’ve’ got attitude.

Me: (sigh) You can be so pedantic sometimes, Beau.

Beau: (smiling oh so sweetly) Don’t you mean… pawdantic?

Me: (turning my sigh into a groan) Beau! Don’t be obtuse. You’re not leaving any room for Martha on the bed.

Beau: It’s not her bed.

Me: She’s a guest.

Beau: And who invited her?

Me: That’s not the point. We treat our guests with loving care. No matter who invited then.

Beau: There you go with the ‘we’ again, Louise. Bottomline. You invited her. Why don’t you give up your space on the bed?

Me: (sigh) Because we all live here and she’s only here for 10 days while her mom and dad are in Mexico.

Beau: Oh well. In that case, I will take pity on her. I understand her plight and how lonely she must be feeling.

Me: She’s not lonely Beau. She’s got you and C.C. and me to keep her company.

Beau: All of that may be true Louise, but, as a dawg who has endless experience of his hooman abandoning him whenever she feels like gallivanting off to the coast or some other unknown distant destination, I have lived experience of how traumatic it is to be left behind.

Me: You know I don’t ‘leave you behind’ because I want to when I go visit The Littles on the coast, right? You know I’m not abandoning you Beau? It’s for your own good. Travel for a dawg can be even more traumatic than having to stay home.

Beau: How would I know? You never take me.

Sigh. As always, Beau gets the last word and I am once again reminded of my shortcomings. Sigh.

Smiling smugly, he closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

Oh well. At least he let my daughter’s beautiful and endearing 2 year old LabraDoodle on the bed.