Beaumont:  Look. Seeing as you forgot my ball and ball chucker, why don't you just take one of those pretty red ones off the tree? Me:  They're Christmas decorations. Not balls. Beau:  So you say. They look perfectly round and throwable to me. Me:  They'd break the minute they touched the ground. Beau:  Prove it. Me:  I am not going to... Continue Reading →

Beau:  So.... is there a reason I am being lugged around like a toy poodle? Me:   Well, you are half poodle. Beau:  Standard poodle. There's a big difference between a toy and a standard you know. Me:   Well, you're as cute as a toy poodle. Beau:   Cute has nothing to do with my looks. I'm handsome. Debonair.... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Seriously. Just because you're in Mexico and haven't got a new photo of me, you're posting this ridiculous one? Me:  I don't want you to think we've forgotten about you. Beau:  You don't call. You don't text. you don't Facetime me? Me:  Hey!  We face timed you last week. You wouldn't look at us. Beau:  I... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  So... You know it's Monday today. Not Sunday. Me:  Yup. Beaumont:  So.... what happened  yesterday?  Just because you're in Mexico you think you can forget about me? Me:  No. Of course not. it's just we were travelling. Beaumont:  And that's your excuse. Harrumph. Sounds like humanwash to me. Me:  Well it's true. And btw.... Continue Reading →

  Me   Beaumont, you know we have a no kissing policy here at work? Beau:  Uh huh. Me:  Then. Ummm. Why are you kissing Svetlana? Beau:  Because she put her face right next to mine? Me:  Doesn't mean you have to kiss her. Beau:  Of course it does. I'm a dog. Me:    But you're ignoring our policy. Beau:  Hey. I'd like... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  You're not really thinking of playing that card are you? Me:  Beau.  Let him play whatever card he wants. Beau:  You're just saying that because you want to win. Me:  Duh.... Beau:  It's not all about winning you know. Me:  When I'm playing Crib with your dad it most definitely is all about winning. Beau:  What about the 'it's... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  I thought I told you I didn't want that cat staying here any more. Me:  It's not your choice. Beau:  Says who? Me:  Says me. Beau:  And who made you queen? Me:  I'm not queen. I just get to decide who comes over. Beau:  And I get to decide if I accept your decisions or... Continue Reading →

Me:  So. Ummm. Beaumont.  Do you see the towel lying on the couch? Beau:  Of course. Me:  Well, you know it's there for you to lie on. Beau:  Ahh. I see where this is going. Me:  Where do you think it's going? Beau:  Oh. You know. To that place where you tell me I'm supposed to be lying on... Continue Reading →

Me:  Beaumont. Quit staring at me. I'm trying to sleep. Beau:  I'm trying to get your attention. Me:   Go to sleep. Beau:  I need to go out. Me:   I took you out before we came to bed. Why do you have to go out now? Beau:  Why do you think? Me:  Because you want to chase that cute rabbit you... Continue Reading →